I do not know what is happening with you anymore? Where are you?
I remember when you were a baby....you were my baby..I was 3 and you were 5 months old we watched Romper Room on our black and white TV in the living room. Later when mommy would put you down for a nap...I would sneak into their bedroom where your crip was to watch you sleep. Then when you woke up..I would run to mom and tell her you were awake. She would take you out of the crib...nurse you and then let me hold you.
When you learned to walk...you walked to me and mommy and daddy...I was there when you were potty trained..(actually I remember rushing you to the potty..)
Later is school, my friends were your friends.
Now..I do not know you.
I wish I could understand where you are at...what is driving you to the decisions that you are making. But I cannot. I cannot understand why you are doing these things to our mother. Why you are still blaming her for your circumstance.
Every decision we make in our lives affects where we go. Each and every way we interact with someone affects our future. You have made your choices...
My job now is to protect our mother from you. You have made bad choices and bad decisions. You have decided that our mother is how you are going to survive.
That is not going to happen. You are not going to use, abuse, threaten our mother anymore.
She bailed you out of jail this time. It will not happen again.
I loved you and I am hoping that I can find it in myself to love you again someday. But right now all I can wonder is where is my "Debbie"?
Sunday, January 16, 2011